Do you have toxic people in your life?

Unfortunately toxic relationships affect us all at some point in our lives. When it comes to relationships we seem to be pretty well attuned to spotting this toxicity yet let it slide with others. We can verbalise reasons why a relationship didn’t work – selfishness,  lack of understanding, not able to be yourself, and list goes on…

So why do we allow these traits or situations manifest in friendships?

To live our most happy lives we must be surrounded by those that lift us up. Since we are supposedly the sum of the 5 people we spend the most time around, it’s imperative to  choose wisely! It can be difficult to spot negative and toxic traits, especially when you’re in the thick of it. I’m certainly guilty of being oblivious at the time then looking back and spotting and reflecting on negative traits and situations. Captain hindsight is a wonderful thing, eh?

Reflecting on those traits in my personal experiences as well as talking to others I noticed a few key traits and commonalities.

Negative energy

I think this might be the biggest for me. I tend to absorb people’s feeling quite easily and  always notice a negative vibe straight off the bat. Some people are just terribly pessimistic and their glass is always half empty and whilst it’s not necessarily your problem it’s definitely not nice to be around. If you notice that you come away from being with someone always feeling negative, pulled down or a bit bleak, perhaps that person has had an effect on you. Maybe you cannot put your finger on it. I’d suggest re-assessing your time spent and the situation with them. Everybody goes through a bad patch from time to time and if it’s a close friend you might not mind spending a bit of energy trying to lift them up, but nobody needs to be around a constant stream of negative energy. It might start rubbing off on you. Not nice.

Lack of respect

An unwritten rule of any friendship is a mutual respect for one another. A lack of respect can come in many forms from you feeling used, your values not being respected or feeling pressured into something. On a more subtle note, is the person actually listening to you? Do they sit on your phone whilst you’re talking, do they talk over you or do you feel like you have to hold back for fear of offending? Do they constantly take and never give? In reality we all have differing options but you should never be made to feel as though you’re tiptoeing around someone or as though you’re not able to be your true self. True friends accept you for who you are.

Emotional abuse

The word abuse is such a loaded term because it can have serious implications, which makes it difficult to acknowledge. Over time, emotional abuse really impacts on your self-esteem and self-worth which is why it is important to cut it out of your life. It might be that you’re constantly put down, criticised or ridiculed by that person. Other signs to look out for are snide comments, being made fun of or not being listened to. These factors can seriously hurt and affect the way in which you view yourself and can lead to serious self-esteem issues.

What signs do you notice?

Lianne

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17 thoughts on “Do you have toxic people in your life?

    1. Thank you Anna 🙂

      I tend to avoid too as I notice they affect my mood!
      I love your suggestion of telling them to support you in positive ways. Positivity breeds positive feelings, so it’s natural to want to be around happy people.

      Thank you for reading,
      Lianne x

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Hello,

    Love your post! I prefer to avoid toxic people around for awhile. Or I warned them to support me in positive ways. I will be happy when my surroundings also are happy. Is it?😄
    Sorry if repost, I tried 3 times to comment your post 😄😄😄

    Cheers,
    Anna

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree so much with this. I just wrote in my post about how I have been weeding through friends and people in my life who do not add value anymore for whatever reason. It makes me current relationships even stronger. Thanks for the post!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks! I totally agree that actually cutting out the people that dont add value really helps to focus more time and energy on the ones that do and in turn makes those relationships even stronger. Thanks for reading and I’ll read yours too 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Well yeah in life we cannot avoid for those people.. Therefore, I am practicing Reiki for about one year now thankfully that it really help me.. very nice writing to help people realised ’bout the toxic people..

    Like

    1. I agree it’s so difficult. Is there a way to limit the time you spend with those people? I first try to limit the time or if not possible, when they start moaning I try to ask them open questions or gently push them to think about things from a more positive position. Very difficult I know 😦

      Like

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