For the last few years it feels like my life has been running at 100mph. Whilst if I’m honest this actually works well for me because I’m definitely fast paced person, I think it’s finally time to stop. Reflect. And take stock.
2017 has literally flown by. What have I done?
It’s funny really because on the face of it I’ve done loads. I moved house, trained for a 10k, been on a few holidays as well as achieved a lot in my work/personal life. But it feels like I’ve not achieved anything. Or feels like something isn’t quite right.
It might be my impending 30th birthday next year that is seriously making me ….anxious/excited/nervous/unfulfilled and question life right now. When I was 18 I really thought that by 25 i’d be married with kids (WOW) but since that hasn’t happened I’m thinking time for a new plan. Since I’m going to be 30 next year and, well, single, I’m thinking that it’s the perfect time to create a new life plan.
I feel like I’m hitting one of those pivotal points in life where you question things and wonder about what the future holds. I definitely hit that point after I finished uni at 21, and again at 25 when I sort of embarked on a career change. I’m at that point again. I think turning 30 must evoke these feelings in people.
On the face of things life is great. I have a great job which is both interesting and offers me a unique flexibility to work on things I really enjoy. I live in a great city, in the middle of that city too, offering me abundant opportunities for my social, work and *cough* love life. I have amazing friends and family (moving away makes you have to put yourself out there when you meet people who sort of already have their friendship groups… but great as you get to meet lots of new fun and interesting people).
So what is missing? I can’t quite put my finger on it. I feel like I’ve running around like a headless chicken for the last few years and have barely taken time out to just stop and think. Sometimes the problem is that when I do stop for more than a few hours I get seriously bored?! I’m out the house Mon-Fri from early until pretty late. I go to the gym a few times a week, fill my other *free* evenings with dinners, catching up with friends, pub quizzes, etc… then the weekends are non-stop too. Not to mention trying to go home to see my family a few weekends here and there, travelling for work and exhausting myself trying to keep up with everyone!
What am I going to change?
Stopping to reflect, regularly
One thing is starting to blog. I have been saying I want to blog for the longest time. It’s productive, cathartic and well, really helps to understand what my thoughts are. Sometimes just getting it down on paper helps to understand what I’m feeling. I’m also thinking that I can use it as an outlet. I have SO many interests that I like to talk about… travel, fitness, nutrition, health, psychology, fashion, photography… the list is endless. I also love sharing my little tid bits of knowledge with everyone – I sometimes can talk people to death about things.
Pledging to spend more quality time with those closest to me
Instead of trying to keep up with everyone, i’m going to start saying no more. This is actually something I pledged to myself at the beginning of the year. I’ve been somewhat good at it but I could do with working it a little more! Whilst it may seem selfish, it really is more about taking time for yourself. Instead of seeing about 25 different friends once a month (and even less in some cases!) I’m going to spend more time with those I love the most.
This is a tough one for me, because ultimately I hate letting people down. And I get FOMO. But I’ve realised I can’t please everyone, and the person I have not been paying attention to is myself. Doing things I want to do. For me.
I’ve also realised that since I’ve moved around that much I’ve built up a collection of friends from different places… school, college, uni, different jobs from when I was at uni, different cities I’ve lived in, people within those different cities, work places, and the list goes on. This is both fab and detrimental. There was one point of my life where I was out for coffee, lunch, brunches, dinners, nights out about 5 days a week just to keep up, and the problem would lie in the fact that for some of those people, that *dinner/coffee/cake/cocktail night* would be their treat, but it was becoming my norm. So when people would say, ‘oh why aren’t you getting dessert?’ I’d be thinking, erm, I had one every night this week!
Over the year I’ve said no to things I would usually just squeeze into my jam packed diary, and well, I have felt GREAT. So definitely implementing this one a lot more. But beyond that, I’m going to start regularly putting time in with those that I actually want to see more ❤
This sounds like I’m jumping on the mindfulness bandwagon. In reality I have tried implementing mindfulness into my life for a while now. Instead of going through phases where I’m great at it and do it everyday then ultimately get sick of it and stop altogether, I’m going to start slow by taking 5 minutes a day to think of what I’m grateful for and why.
This applies more to career options because I think i’m fairly inquisitive as a person. I’m going to take a day every few weeks to look into career options and possibly a year out/sabbatical. This one needs more work.
Did you suffer from a *OH GOD I’M ALMOST 30* crisis and if so, what did you do?